Smartass & Sass is a monthly subscription for sassy ladies. There are 4 plans available:
The Shirt Only subscription is $24.95, Box Only is $49.95, the Big Box Subscription (which includes the shirt and box) is $69.95 and a “Small Box” subscription is $29.95. Shipping is included for all boxes.
Each box contains full size beauty and lifestyle items from Smartass & Sass and various other sassy businesses. The shirts are comfy unisex T's available in sizes XS-4X.
This box was paid for by Smartass & Sass. (Check out our editorial guidelines to learn more about how we review boxes.)
First Impressions
1 of 2
Warning: This review is not for the faint of heart! If you’re offended by bad language, this probably isn’t the review or box for you! If you’re like me and thrive on poor language and bad ideas, this is definitely a subscription box you need in your life! Consider yourself warned!
With that said, December's theme was: “Fancy B*tch!” It’s proof that sassy can still be (mostly) classy!
So Fancy!
“Inhale The Good Sh*t” Shower Steamers (Set Of 4) - Retail Value $14.95
1 of 5
Big Box subscribers can now customize 2-3 items in their box each month! The first choice item this month was a luxurious bath product. Last month’s box contained a bottle of bubble bath, so I’m glad I chose the shower steamers. If you’ve never heard of a shower steamer, it’s like a bath bomb for your shower! Unwrap the steamer, place it on the floor of your shower and let the water surround it. Scent is released as it dissolves.
A tip: I always put my shower steamers in the corner of my shower. The trick is to let them get wet, but not too quickly. This makes them last longer (which is great for those of us who are transformed into mermaids when we get wet). All of them smell fantastic and are strong enough to scent a steamy shower without being overwhelming. I’m glad Smartass included shower steamers as a choice; it’s a nice change from the traditional bath bomb.
B*tchy Makeup Brush Set - Retail Value $24.95
1 of 5
“Babe” Glitz It Up Lip Creme + “Sass” Lip Gloss Set - Retail Value $29.95
1 of 4
The second choice was for a beauty item. I chose a lip creme and gloss set but I received the makeup brush set instead. I emailed Smartass and they said a glitch had occurred and caused them to miss my second and third item choices. They were super sweet about the mixup and quickly sent the correct items.The brush set that they accidentally sent is really nice, but I received it in a Smartass box in 2022, so my dear friend Caline was super excited to take this one off of my hands.
The lip set that I selected was one of two lippie sets offered. I like that there were color options because I’m so pale that subscription boxes rarely send me makeup that I can wear. Fittingly, the gloss is called, “Sass” and it’s by Rachel Couture. I received the same shade from Smartass a year ago, and since it’s too warm for my skintone, Caline (happily) scored another item.
The star of the set is a matte to glitter lip creme by Bellapierre. I can’t think of a better way to say, “Fancy B*tch” than glittery lipstick! The color that I chose is called, “Babe.” In the tube it’s a lovely mauve color without much noticeable sparkle. The trick, it turns out, is to apply, let dry, then press your lips together to bring out the glitter effect. I tried it on and, unfortunately, it’s a bit too dark and brown-hued for me. I took a photograph right after applying and then one after it had dried (and I blotted it). You can see a subtle, glitzy shimmer mixed into the matte finish. It’s a really cool effect that isn’t too over the top; I’d be comfortable wearing it all day. I’ll be checking Ulta to see what other colors are available.
“I Cook As Good As I Look” Linen Apron - Retail Value $34.95
1 of 4
Just A Girl Staring At Dinner Apron - Retail Value $34.99
1 of 3
December’s third choice item was an apron. I received a very sturdy charcoal-colored one with a snarky phrase embroidered on it. In the center is a very generously sized pocket with the words, “I cook as good as I look” in an eye-catching yellow color. It’s cute and well-made, but I had been looking forward to the really girly one I had chosen.
I was super excited that Smartass & Sass quickly fixed their error. I really, really love the one I had actually chosen. It’s periwinkle and covered in flowers but even better is the phrase: “Just a girl, staring at a dinner, asking it to cook itself!” Very funny and a cute reference to the most memorable line of the Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant rom-com, “Knotting Hill.”
Both of the aprons are constructed well. They're made from a rugged fabric, have thick straps and good sized pockets. I can tell that they’re going to last a very long time, which is great considering how fun their design is. I love that Smartass & Sass realized that if this b*tch is going to cook, she might as well look good while doing it!
Jetsetter Luggage Tag - Retail Value $9.95
1 of 2
I’ve received other luggage tags from Smartass & Sass. This one is nicely constructed, but personally, I’m not a fan of the color orange. However, I do find it useful in a luggage tag. It certainly makes it easier to identify your bag from a distance.
I think the phrase embossed into it, “Bye bye bye” is a clever reference to the NSYNC song (of the same name). Of course, “Bye, bye, bye” is also a fitting phrase for a luggage tag since you’re about to go bye-bye. I wasn’t totally sure how it fit the “Fancy B*tch” theme, but the box insert explains that it’s made from an elegant looking faux leather. It’s a fancy luggage tag.
Rich B*tch Satin Head Scarf - Retail Value $19.95
1 of 3
This decorative satin scarf is fittingly presented in a black ribbon wrapped package bearing the phrase, “rich b*tch vibes.” This scarf is super cute. It feels soft and silky, so I can see why you’d want to wear it around your neck, head or hair. You could even tie it around your boring purse if you want to jazz it up and be fancy. The only thing I’m not a fan of, is the color. But that’s just me. I look good in cool tone colors, so I can’t pull this scarf off. I’m really sad about that because everything else about it is so fantastic.
I’d love to see more of these scarves in the future; perhaps as a customization item so that we can choose our color! It won’t go to waste, though. As Caline was trying out the makeup brushes, she saw me unbox this scarf and she squealed! So she took it home too and reported that it does indeed make her feel fancy!
Few Have Died Here Cutting Board - Retail Value $19.95
1 of 3
I love this next item; It can be a cutting, cheese or charcuterie board. At the moment though, it’s kitchen decor! The wood is gorgeous and the engraved phrase is snarky: “Many have eaten here. Few have died.” Admit it, that’s laugh out loud hilarious! It even has a fancy vine design engraved into it.
I’m pleased with the quality of the wood; it’s smooth, heavy and the grain colors are beautiful. It’s almost too cute to use which means that nothing sharper than a cheese knife is allowed to touch mine. I can’t decide what I love more, the apron or the cutting board. Both are lovely to look at, useful, well-made and make me feel so fancy!
99 Problems Gold Collectable Marker - Retail Value $4.95
1 of 3
This year, Smartass & Sass included a different colored fine-point Sharpie, with appropriately funny phrases, in each month’s box. This is the twelfth and final Sharpie in the set! The theme, “Fancy B*tch” perfectly fits the name of the color: “99 Problems; Gold Ain’t One.” The ink’s color is a lovely metallic gold and it writes so smoothly.
I keep my marker set on my desk in a snarky pouch from a previous box. I’m surprised how often I reach for them and I always spend too much time deliberating on my color choice! The marker of the month was a fantastic idea; I really hope to see a monthly collectable item in future boxes.
If you missed a month and want to complete your set, the Smartass online shop sells them individually. The shop also has the full set of 12 markers as well as the full set inside of a sparkle pencil box.
Too Glam To Give A Damn - Unisex T-Shirt - Retail Value $24.95
I loved November’s shirt but December’s is my favorite of the year! Smartass & Sass really ended with a bang! The “heather deep teal” color is fantastic and one that almost everyone will look great in. But the phrase, “Too Glam To Give A Damn,” is my favorite part. I love that it rhymes and the cute crown really pops! So fancy!
I’m not a T-shirt person so my niece, Elizabeth, acts as my model. She says that the shirts are true to size, long enough to wear with yoga pants and ridiculously soft! She now looks forward to her monthly sassy shirt! Please take note of how gorgeous her makeup looks; the shirt inspired her to glam it up. I have a feeling she’ll be wearing this shirt during the next makeup video she films!
The Verdict
December’s theme, “Fancy B*tch,” was a lot of fun and a great way to end the year. I’m impressed with the quality and creativity of the items. The box curation fit the theme extraordinarily well. I will use almost everything in the box and what I don’t need has already been (gleefully) claimed by my gal pals.
I’ve subscribed to Smartass & Sass for several years and I’m thrilled to see them getting better and better. The themes, curation and (perhaps, most importantly) the item quality are all stellar. Bravo to the queen b*tches who make this box happen; I’m excited to see what they have in store for 2024!
Keep Track of Your Subscriptions: Add this box to your subscription list or wishlist!
To Wrap Up
Can you still get this box if you sign up today?
No, your first box will be the January box. However, you have the option to buy the “Fancy B*tch” box as well as previous boxes from the Smartass store.
Value Breakdown: The December Big Box (including T-shirt) cost $69.95 which means each of the 8 items (counting the T-shirt) cost an average of about $8.74. That’s a great value!
I’d like to add that there is a Smartass & Sass online shop that contains items found, and not found, in the box. It’s open to everyone, but subscribers that enter the password on the back of the box insert will receive 20% off of their order!
Don’t forget: Customization is available to Big Box Subscribers! They are allowed to choose up to three items in each month’s box! Customization is open each month from the 26th to the 10th. Subscriptions bill on the 1st and ship on the 18th.
What do you think of Smartass & Sass?
Please do not enter your email address in the Name field or in the comment content. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *. Remember to post with kindness and respect. Comments with offensive language, cruelness to others, etc will not be approved. See our full comment policy here.